I’d love to wax lyrical on the influence strong branding has on voters but it may just grate with my supporters in the House. I believe it is a very personal and complex psychological process choosing a political party, akin to the decision-making traumas afflicting many people when compatibility checking a future life partner. It’s like the stuff the fairer sex look out for when selecting a partner... colour of hair, bad breath, IQ, yellow teeth, skin condition, colour of skin, bank account, the Marks & Spencer label on his jacket, gym membership, alimony payments, parking offences, record of mental illness in the family, tattoos expressing his admiration for Mum, sexual preferences, size of ego and other stuff, previous conquests, previous convictions. You know the stuff. They ask pertinent questions along the lines of “Will he discuss the attributes of MasterChef whilst devouring one of Ahmed’s finest shish kebabs after the pub closes?”. “Does he have a sustainable and well paying job in the city or a greengrocer’s shop in Hackney?” “Is that his Hyundai parked outside with the go-faster stripes?” “Does he belong to an exclusive club in the city or Rotherham United Supporters Club?” “Does he talk about his Mum all the time?” “Is that tattooed girl in the corner balancing beer bottles on her head his sister by any chance?” Does he read the Beano in bed?” “Does he prefer to holiday in Bognor Regis?” “Does he have a soft spot for repeats of The Benny Hill Show?”
Well we don’t wear a T-shirt emblazoned with our own personal logo when we’re posturing in the pub eyeing up the opposite sex do we?... lager in hand and Brut liberally applied. ‘Metallica’ yes. ‘Harvard 1997’ possibly, depending on the venue.
I guess it’s much the same when choosing the leader of a political party. I suppose the same questions were running through Samantha’s mind when David Cameron proposed to her. Or was it the visionary Conservative Party logo monogrammed on his Hawes & Curtis shirt that grabbed her? Or the logo etched into his gold cufflinks? The discrete logo tattooed on his buttocks? The bumper sticker on the Bentley? The flag waving gnome sitting beside his garden pond? The monogrammed hankie with which he wiped away her tears after jamming her finger in the car door outside No.10? What do you think?
Looking at the random collection of logos on this page, I’d say there’s room for a rethink. Will a rose really do it for you? Will a green pyramid bring a brave new ecologically satisfying and sustainable lifestyle into your world? Will a tree adjust your thinking? Will Labor in Western Australia have voters reaching for the stars? Will the ‘flashback to 70s Australia’ Liberal logo grab their retro vote?
I reckon the yellow bird would look good on a T-shirt while listening to Nick Clegg and the Democrats down the Nags Head in Bromley High Street next Saturday night. Fair go. It gets my vote. It could do with a more stylish font though.
Tony Heywood is a Fellow of the Design Institute of Australia, founder of Heywood Innovation in Sydney and London with affiliates in Melbourne, Gold Coast, Singapore and Mumbai.
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